What Does It Matter: MY DREAMS

I am sure I would not have wanted to write this. And I am surer, I would not have wanted anyone to know "How I broke a heart". But the everlasting exemplars which are embedded in my memory do not seem to be in fixity. And before they get eroded by the beatings of time (cliches are expected to be pardoned), I wish to write everything at which I feel like stopping a moment or so, while giving a thought to. Behaviors, thoughts, opinions, feelings...everything. Another aspect which reflects my personality, and which is certain to be reflected as I write, is the wayward drift of thoughts. I have seldom completed anything as I thought to, before beginning to write.

I do not dream while sleeping. But when I do, I seldom have bad dreams (the ones I wish I had not dreamed). And I do not want to dream the undesired. I dream I am in love. I dream I like someone, who's been closely associated with me. I dream of some unknown face and wish I could see it alive. I dream of people chanting my name and praises for me, surrounding me. I dream about ghosts, not ugly though, and my frightened states. Sometimes, I dream that I am running after a train, obviously the one to board, and then I want to keep running. The whistle has been long blown, and I am well short of my ground...the anxiety...I love to dream on. (Often, even though I wake up, I refuse to end my dream, and keep sleeping, in a faint hope to dream of catching the train). I dream of the vast ocean; I dream of...of a happy conversation; I dream of an angry hag and an ugly classmate I was afraid of. I dream I am one of the members of Lamb Of God. I dream of a....whatever!

I am not sure if I actually have dreams of the aforementioned. But I am positive that I want to dream of these things. I want to dream of ideas that leave me craving for more. I want to dream of dreams. I want to dream, like every other fellow, of a healthy GPA (I had only 1 dream regarding academics, a good one, and it somehow was pretty accurate). I want to dream of people saying good things about me. I want to dream of the future. I want to dream of the girl I met on the train. I want to dream of the girl whom I had a chat with, the other day. I want dream of myself, fallen in love. I want to dream of my charming romance. I want to dream to see the chase successful. I want to dream of my music band. I want to dream of a better hairstyle. I want to dream of a fairer complexion. I want to dream that I am not just a jack, but an ace. I want to...

(STOP IT NOW. ENOUGH)
(YOU MIGHT HAVE STARTED THINKING...)
(OTHERS MIGHT AS WELL HAVE ALREADY ABANDONED THE BLOG)
:(
 
One more thing, and very curious and very strange but very embarrassing. In most of my dreams (I dare say 90%), I dream of girls. My mother, my sisters, my girlfriend, the girl I knew sometime, my sociology teacher, and often, the few unseen faces. And the good thing is that all these are "HAPPY DREAMS". (I am embarrassed but there is a grin and a broad one, on my face.) And my family is one of the notions I very, very seldom dream of, which makes it all the more embarrassing. I do not see the ones who I take for granted. But I try hard to keep thinking of the things I wish to see fulfilled, even though through MY DREAMS.

But in the end does it even matter?